One question to ask yourself when you’re thinking of divorce ”“ what happens if you change your mind? Divorce is not cheap, and if you begin the proceedings and then find that you don’t actually want to get divorced, that can cause a whole lot of financial stress that, predictably enough, can harm your relationship moving forward. If you are going to get a divorce, you want to be absolutely sure of your choice and feel confident moving forward.
Before You Divorce, Consider Professional Counseling
It is wise before divorce to consider seeking professional counseling. A professional counselor has seen many, many couples in strife and can help you determine whether the problems straining your marriage are solvable or if you are better off getting a divorce. If spouses are truly unable to resolve their differences, a counselor can assist them in preparing to separate in an amicable manner during the divorce proceedings.
To know if you are truly ready for a divorce, think about the following:
- Are you using the word divorce as a tool to gain power over your significant other or to vent frustration? You should not use the word divorce as a weapon, and if you do, think to yourself: Are you being truthful with yourself, or are you letting emotion get the best of you? If you are in the midst of an argument, avoid making divorce threats. Remove yourself from the situation to allow your emotions to calm down before saying things you do not mean.
- Why do you want a divorce? Is it a last-ditch effort to try and change your spouse into the person you want him or her to be? Or do you truly wish to end this chapter of your life and start anew? As we stated above, a counselor for couples or yourself individually can assist you in sorting out these issues.
- Are you ready for the financial ramifications of divorce? Most couples of average means may have to downsize their lifestyles after divorce, as they now have two separate households instead of sharing one. Speak with a financial planner or CPA to help plan your financial future.
- Remember to accept your children’s feelings throughout the process. Keep in close contact with your child’s school and teachers, and let them know what is going on so they can be understanding and best assist your child.
Consider all of these things and then ask yourself once again: is divorce what you need? If so, be prepared to start a new chapter in your life.
