There comes a point when you must admit your marriage is over.  You’ve tried everything from marriage counseling, personal therapy, and maybe even living apart.

But before you take the plunge, the best attorneys advise that you will fare [...]]]> Strategies for Coming out Ahead in Your Divorce and Custody Matter

There comes a point when you must admit your marriage is over.  You’ve tried everything from marriage counseling, personal therapy, and maybe even living apart.

But before you take the plunge, the best attorneys advise that you will fare much better if you prepare. It may seem heartless, but if you plan on getting divorced, or if you think your spouse may want one from you, there are some matters you should take care of first.  Addressing these issues before your partner even realizes you are ready to get divorced and you will be ahead of the game during the legal negotiations that will occur sooner than you think.

We know that the notion of a pending divorce–even one not yet broached with your spouse–can send you into a tailspin. The mere thought of getting divorced can cause a range of emotions, including relief, fear, disappointment, excitement, and dread.  But no matter what you feel, you must push these emotions aside and take some practical and strategic steps before anyone else gets the ball rolling:

1. Hire a lawyer that practices in the Metro Denver area.  Unless you have been married for only a short time, or you have no property or children, hire a lawyer. Even if you and your spouse have “worked everything out,” or have chosen a mediator, your personal lawyer may tell you about rights you did not know you had.  Remember, you do not need an F. Lee Bailey, but you should find someone who has handled divorces before, someone you can afford, and someone with whom you feel comfortable. Word of mouth is usually a good way to locate attorneys, but do not go by recommendations alone. Meet a few lawyers before making up your mind. This will help you learn about the differences in legal style between lawyers and help you find one that is good for you.

2. Learn your spouse’s annual income. D they have a salaried position, or is paid by the hour, the information should be on a recent pay stub. If you cannot get one, last year’s tax return should help.  If your spouse is self-employed, a tax return may not tell you the full story.  Do a little detective work. Does your spouse have a partner? Are you friendly with the partner’s spouse? They may know about the business and be willing to share what they know about it.  Is someone else in the partnership divorced? That partner’s former spouse might be willing and able to help you.

3. Realistically assess what you can earn. Have you been out of the job market for a while? Perhaps you need some time to get your skills up to speed before taking the plunge. Has business been off lately? Keep a record of that now, so no one later accuses you of deliberately reducing your income to negotiate a more favorable settlement.

4. Learn everything there is to know about your family’s financial assets and liabilities.  You will only be able to share in assets you know about, so you must find out exactly what the two of you have. For most, that’s probably easy. There’s a house (owned by the bank), a car (still owned by the dealer), a pension (not yet vested), and a little bit of savings. But for some, property ownership is more complicated. In some cases, one spouse’s business is a marital asset to be valued, and a judge can distribute its value. The same may go for a ski house or condominium, even if inherited during the marriage.

5. Realistically assess your family’s debt. Often, the allocation of debt is harder to prove or negotiate than the division of assets. What debts do you have? Credit card, personal loans, bank loans, car loans? How much does it cost to pay these debts each month?

6. Make photocopies of every family financial record you can find. Canceled checks, bank statements, tax returns, life insurance polices–if it is there, copy it.  You may never need this information, but if you do, it is good to have.

7. Make a list of your family’s valuables. Inventory your safety deposit box or family safe and take photographs of the contents. Do the same with jewelry or any furniture, paintings, or other items of value. You needn’t list every worn out piece of furniture, but anything with a value of more than $250, or that has value to you, or your spouse, should be included.

8. Learn how much it costs to run your household now. Whether you plan to stay in the home or leave, unless you know what the monthly costs are, you will not be able to determine how much money you need. If you’re the one who pays the monthly bills, your job is easy. If you are not, look through a checkbook to find the expenses–how much is the monthly rent or mortgage; utilities, including electricity, heat, and phone; and maintenance costs such as snow removal, yard care, and annual maintenance for the house.  One woman we know, a well-educated profession, who had a full-time career, did not know the first thing about the family’s monthly expenses because her husband’s business secretary made out the checks and paid the bills from the office. She was embarrassed to confess her “ignorance,” but she is not alone.

9. Determine where you will live following separation. If you’re the spouse who plans to move out, decide where you are going to live and figure out how much it will cost you on a month-by-month basis beforehand. This will make your case much more difficult to settle.  Consider what it will cost to move and calculate start-up expenses, including telephone installation and turning on electricity and cable.

10. Save money, if at all possible. One unemployed wife of successful business owner wanted a divorce immediately. Her divorce lawyer, however, convinced her to be patient.  He advised her that it would be better to wait a year before filing for divorce.  During that time, she was instructed to save enough money, hopefully, to move out and pay for her expenses on her own.  It was not easy, but the wife saved enough to move out a year later.  After she was settled in her own apartment, her lawyer then went to court and got the judge to order her husband to pay her monthly rent until the divorce was finalized.  If the wife had not moved out, the judge could not have directed the husband to pay her rent because she wouldn’t have had any rent to pay.  Instead, she might have been stuck in the house, with her husband, until the divorce was final or forced to spend her meager savings on rent; and that could have taken far more than a year. (While most Judges will address the non-working spouse temporary support, you cannot count getting temporary maintenance or the amount of the maintenance.)

11. Build up your own credit. If you don’t have credit cards in your own name, apply for them now. You may be able to get them now, based on your spouse’s income, and you will probably need credit later. Use the cards instead of cash and pay the bill by the due date.

12. Stay involved or increase your involvement with your children. First, this is important for your children because they will need all the support and reassurance they can get during the unsteady and hectic times ahead.   Plus, courts consider the depth and quality of your relationship when making custody and visitation decisions.  Therefore, more involvement now could translate to continued involvement, at a higher level, after the divorce, as well as the custody agreement you want and is best for your children.  Take a look at your own behavior.  Have you been so busy earning a living that you have let your spouse do the majority of work raising your children?  If so, now is the time to reallocate your priorities. If you have school-age children, help them get ready for school in the morning, help them with homework at night, and help get them to bed. Learn who their teachers are, who their doctors are, and their friends. If your children are not yet in school, spend as much time with them as you can before and after work. Even if you do not have much of a chance in getting custody, you will become a better parent and have a better relationship with your children.  Take heed from a much-publicized custody battle involving a famous film director and his former partner.  The father’s case for joint custody was severely weakened when the judge learned he did not know the names of his children’s pets or teachers, or their shoe sizes. Although many parents may not know their child’s shoe size, the Mother’s lawyer made a big deal out of it.

13. Withdrawing money from the bank. If you fear your request for divorce will send your spouse straight to the bank, withdraw half of the money in all your savings accounts first. Place the money in a new account, and keep it there until you and your spouse can work out the distribution of property. Do not spend the money if at all possible. If the money is in a checking account and you know the account is nearly emptied every month to pay bills, do not withdraw any part of that money. You will create financial mayhem if checks bounce.

14. Consider canceling charge cards. If you are the party responsible for paying credit card bills, consider canceling your accounts–or at least reducing the spending limit.  Often times, the announcement of a divorce causes one party to go on a shopping spree.

If you have additional questions, contact Divorce Matters, and arrange to meet with an attorney.  Divorce Matters helps clients throughout the Metro Denver area get the best results possilbe in their divorce and child custody matters.

Glen B. Goldman, Attorney

www.divorce-matters.com

One problem; you cannot collect the past due amount. While there are many ways to collect support in Colorado, all too often, the person obligated to pay support does everything in their ability to avoid paying the obligation. The Colorado Court of [...]]]> So, you have a Child Support Order and/or Maintenance Order in place.

One problem; you cannot collect the past due amount. While there are many ways to collect support in Colorado, all too often, the person obligated to pay support does everything in their ability to avoid paying the obligation. The Colorado Court of Appeals has recently upheld a process to allow past due child support and maintenance collection from the obligated party’s employer-held retirement account. See IRM of Drexler and Bruce, Jr., 2013 COA 43 (Colo.App.2013).

What type of Retirement Accounts Can I Pursue?

There are many types of financial accounts. This post deals only with employer-held retirement accounts.

The recent Colorado Court of Appeals decision affirms collection from employer-held retirement accounts. These are commonly 401(k) or pension accounts. Please note that the law surrounding retirement accounts is fairly complex. Further, some retirement plans, such as PERA, present special challenges.

How can I Collect?

If a party is behind on support payments, the first question is whether you have a valid, enforceable support order (hopefully, the answer to this question is “yes”).  Next, you must determine whether or not the obligated party has retirement accounts to pursue. If the obligated party has employer-held retirement accounts, you must request that the Court enter a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to collect the arrearages from the retirement plan.

Your request to the Court must comply with the Colorado Rules of Civil Procedure.

A QDRO is a domestic relations order that creates or recognizes a person’s right to receive all or a portion of the benefits payable to the plan participant (here the obligated party) under a retirement plan. A proposed QDRO must be drafted in a way that meets the particular retirement plan’s requirements and specifications.

A QDRO may be used to enforce maintenance and child support obligations for which you have a valid and enforceable Court order.   If the Court grants your request for a QDRO, you must submit exactly what the retirement plan requires directly to the retirement plan for collection.

Conclusion

In an ideal world, you can expect to receive child support and maintenance payments as the Court ordered. However, some people will do anything to avoid their obligations. There are many options to collect past due support, depending on the circumstances. Which option makes the most sense in your particular case requires an analysis of all possible options. The above information gives a very basic outline of one such option to collect past due support.

For more information contact Glen B. Goldman, Esq. or William E. Smith, Esq. at Divorce Matters.

720.542.6142.

www.divorce-matters.com

First:  Top Denver custody attorneys know how to determine which custody issues are worth taking to court and which issues are not.  Each custody matter has plenty of issues that can be brought to [...]]]> A top Denver child custody attorney can increase the chances you will win your child custody case by doing the following:

First:  Top Denver custody attorneys know how to determine which custody issues are worth taking to court and which issues are not.  Each custody matter has plenty of issues that can be brought to court.  However, not every issue is worth asking the Judge to decide.  In fact, if certain issues are not settled out of court, the failure to resolve those issues may annoy the Judge and cause the Judge to discredit the more important custody issues.

Second:  Once it is determined which custody issues should be taken to court, the best custody attorneys painstakingly sort through all of the possible evidence and pull out those facts which have the best chance of persuading the Judge to grant your custody request.  This phase is extremely important because not all facts will persuade the judge to modify custody.  In fact, just like certain issues can annoy and turn off judges, so can certain facts.

Third: The best custody attorneys in Denver determine how to present your custody issues and the specific facts of your case to the court in the most persuasive manner possible.

Fourth:  The top Denver divorce and custody lawyers locate and interview witnesses and obtain important documents before they step into court.   It is amazing how many divorce and custody lawyers, even those with experience, walk into child custody hearings unprepared. Even though there were witnesses to interview and subpoena, documents to gather such as e-mails, text messages, correspondence, medical records, police reports and other such evidence, many divorce lawyers simply do not do their due diligence before going to court.  The top divorce lawyers stand out and win custody cases based on their preparation and attention to detail. That is the type a lawyer you want on your side.

Fifth:   The top Denver divorce and custody attorneys focus on the best interests of the children in the custody case. Too many lawyers get caught up in their client’s own
allegations as well as that of the other parent that they forget the entire focus of a child custody case is the children.  Therefore, a good attorney will teach his or her clients how to remain focused on what is in the best interest of the children.

Sixth:  The top Denver divorce lawyers do not waste their client’s money unnecessarily on litigation that will not help the case progress toward resolution or trial.  Some family law attorneys will waste their client’s money on unnecessary litigation that accomplishes little to nothing in a child custody matter, but instead stalls the process and causes more strife with the opposing party.  The best attorneys put the client first, and not the fees.   The best attorney for your child custody matter is one that knows the importance of co-parenting and ensuring that both parties are able to move forward from a case to work together for their children.

The best divorce and custody attorneys also manage their client’s expectations. Few things are worse than telling a client that a particular result will occur when the lawyer knows or should know that such a result is not likely. The best attorneys do not make promises to clients about specific results. Even with extensive experience and knowledge, the best
attorneys understand that no one can predict the future in any divorce or custody case. However, that same experience and knowledge teaches the best lawyers that there are outcomes in a divorce and custody case that are more likely than others.

The best custody attorneys also work hard to only represent good people with the right intentions.  At Divorce Matters, our number one rule is simple. We will not represent
parents who intend to use their children as leverage or who are abusive emotionally or physically toward the children. If a parent is falsely accused of these things, we aggressively and effectively represent such parents.

Are you ready to make the right decision about who the right attorney is for you? The attorneys at Divorce Matters are ready to meet with you. Together, we will bring success to your divorce and child custody case.

Posted by Metro Denver Custody attorney – Glen B. Goldman

But with any relationship, married or [...]]]> The face of marriage is changing. More and more committed couples are delaying marriage to jump-start careers or simply juggle the economic impacts of a recession. With the stigma once associated with cohabitation a relic of the past, many couples are choosing to live together, committed, yet single.

But with any relationship, married or otherwise, sometimes things do not work out as planned. And when non-married couples who have had children together, jointly purchased homes, shared debt, and made future plans find themselves facing a “divorce,” the process of separating their lives often requires legal intervention.

For these couples, the first question they ask is: “Are we common law married”?

Only 11 states, including Colorado, recognize common law marriages, but in each state, the requirements for meeting that designation differ.

What is a Common Law Marriage in Colorado?

In Colorado, a common law marriage can be defined as a marriage between a man and a woman that is based on the couple’s agreement to have a marital relationship and not based on a formal ceremony or other legal formality.

There are numerous factors, however, that must exist for a relationship to be recognized as a common law marriage. Simply because a couple has lived together for a period of time does not mean they meet the requirements. In some situations, a couple can cohabitate for 10, 15, even 20 years and still not be considered married under common law. So how is a common law marriage determined in Colorado? Couples seeking common law designation must meet the following basic criteria, although the court will also look at other aspects of the relationship:

1. Holding themselves out as husband and wife;
2. Consenting to the marriage;
3. Cohabitation; and
4. Having the reputation in the community as being married.

Dissolving a Common Law Marriage:

Is there such a thing as a “Common Law Divorce”?

So how do you deal with separation if you are common law married? Do just agree to go your separate ways and that is that?

As with all aspects of family and divorce law, it is not that simple.

Because—for all intents and purposes—you are legally married even without an official marriage certificate, you will need to follow the same divorce process as a legally married couple. You may still be responsible for spousal maintenance (alimony), child custody, and dividing property.

As a common law married couple, you have the same rights and privileges as a traditionally married couple—as well as the same responsibilities—as long as you meet the requirements for your union to be considered common law. In addition to sorting through all of the obligations that you held together as a couple, you also are unable to remarry until the divorce is finalized.

Conclusion

Many couples believe that avoiding the legal marriage designation makes things simpler. But in the end, should things not work out as you and your partner had hoped and dreamed, and you have a common law marriage, you may find yourself facing the same complicated (and unfortunately, contentious) path to separation as a traditionally married couple.

Posted by Metro Denver Divorce Attorney Glen B. Goldman

However, what about great-grandparents?

A recent Colorado Court of Appeals case, In re the Parental ResponsibilitiesConcerning M.D.E., 2013 COA 13. No. 12CA2482, has made it clear that a great-grandparent does not have standing, or [...]]]> In Colorado, by statute, a grandparent can ask the court to grant them the right to have visitation time with their grandchildren.

However, what about great-grandparents?

A recent Colorado Court of Appeals case, In re the Parental ResponsibilitiesConcerning M.D.E., 2013 COA 13. No. 12CA2482, has made it clear that a great-grandparent does not have standing, or the independent legal right, to seek visitation.

In M.D.E.,the father challenged the district court’s order granting the great-grandmother’s motion to intervene.  The Court of Appeals looked at the statutory definition of a grandparent, which states that a grandparent is “a person who is the parent of a child’s father or mother.” Based on that definition, the Colorado Court of Appeals determined that a great-grandparent cannot be considered a grandparent within the meaning of the statute and, therefore, does not have standing, or the legal right, to seek visitation with their great-grandchild.

So, what can we learn from this case?

While the issue of great-grandparent visitation is uncommon, if you are going through a divorce and it is important to you that the child’s great-grandparents have time with the child, and your soon-to-be ex-spouse is not a fan of them, you may want to try incorporating visitation time for the great-grandparents into your parenting plan.

Glen B. Goldmant, Attorney

In Colorado, when a parent or third-party buys a house or pays down a mortgage on a home, and the home is titled in both the husband and wife’s names, the law presumes the money is a gift to the marriage and [...]]]> Is a gift from a parent to their married child considered marital property?

In Colorado, when a parent or third-party buys a house or pays down a mortgage on a home, and the home is titled in both the husband and wife’s names, the law presumes the money is a gift to the marriage and subject to equitable distribution in the event the couple divorces.

An unresolved issue, however, was whether this legal presumption had to be overcome by clear and convincing evidence or could be overcome under a lesser standard of preponderance of the evidence.

Recently, in the case of In re the Marriage of Krejci, 2013 COA 6. No. 11CA2345, the Colorado Court of Appeals was faced with this very question. In Kejci, during the marriage, the wife’s mother paid off the mortgage on the marital home that was jointly owned by the parties. During the divorce the wife argued that when her mother paid off the mortgage, she was giving her a gift, and therefore that portion of the equity in the home was not part of the marital estate that had to be divided with her soon to be ex-husband. The Court of Appeals determined that when the mother paid down the mortgage on her daughter’s marital home, it was presumed that the payment was a gift to the marriage and held that the presumption could only be overcome by clear and convincing evidence.

If you have questions regarding the Division of Marital Property, contact an attorney at Divorce Matters.

Posted by Metro Denver Divorce Lawyer, Glen B. Goldman.